oh god the rape fog is back!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
