Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The beer is more important than you right now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
