Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
