Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
