Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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