Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
