I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
