i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
