why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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