why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
