Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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