it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
