I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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