Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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