Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
