last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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