There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
