no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
