You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
