Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
