I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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