This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
