She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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