Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
