I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
