And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
