Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
