So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
