Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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