Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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