I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
