fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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