I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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