All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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