"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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