the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
