id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
