I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
