If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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