How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
