Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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