i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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