You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
