i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
