Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
