what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
