While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
