Everything about him screamed your future.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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