I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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