oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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