Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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